Life in the time of superhero movies

Disclaimer: The post has been written for purely entertainment purpose, and I have no inclination to generalise men and women, or make fun of their personalities, and quirks. I love all the men and women in my life. No pun intended. Okay, maybe a little bit.

***

Who does not like Superheroes? Bring on The Hulk, Super Man, Iron Man, Wolverine out in the streets, every man, woman and child would follow.

best-superhero-movies-all-time-pic

Having said that, I want to shake them off, and walk away. Like seriously.

Why?

It all started with X-Men: The Last Stand, which I watched some months ago.

But wait, before I talk about Superheroes, and the men in those action flicks, I should talk about the men in our lives. That us, women, are wedded to, born with, or friends with.

[Myth 1: It is not like us, women, don’t like action movies. We do. It is not like we like to bawl our eyes out for mushy stuff. After a long, hard day, a bit of romance never kills. That’s all we are saying.]

We get your love for Iron Man suit, worse we love it ourselves.

Because of our love for you, and for those men (‘shiva shiva’), we wanna watch ‘em with you. That’s until we realise, it all gets a bit more complicated than that.

[Myth 2: And to say, we women are complex. What a paradox! The superhero films, comics, and the series that you men ‘oh-so-love’ are teeming with sub-plots after sub-plots, unlike our good old boy meets girl plot, or those appalling Indian mega serials. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned those mega serials, even as an example, I take it back.]

The point is – ‘No. We are not complex. We are simple. Dammit. Okay, maybe that was a bit of stretch.

Now, let’s talk about complex. Where were we?

Yes, it all started with X-Men: The Last Stand.

[Fact 1a: No man ever likes to watch a romcom.

1b: No man ever accepts we watch movies in other genre.

1c: No man ever likes to explain what the story is all about, even if they are watching the same old Gotham boy’s killing spree a millionth time.]

[Fact 2: Despite fact 1, we sit with ‘em, and watch a testosterone display.

a. Because admit it, we like to do things together.

b. Because admit it, we like it when they happily pass on their boyish grin in the house.

c. Because admit it, Robert Downey Jr. is hot.]

Half way through the movie, I realise I don’t understand what the whole X-Men is all about, and I am not going to get answers from the significant other. I realise I need to watch Wolverine, not only because it stars Hugh Jackman, but dammit, I want to know how it all started. I realise I need to watch three more X-Men movies to make sense of the one movie I am watching.

After a mini X-Men spree for a few days, I tell: “That was awesome. What’s next? I wanna watch.”

“Next movie is not yet released. You need to wait” replies the husband.

As a shock embraces me, I remark “What! That’s all? Years of Hollywood industry, and you mean to say I have watched ‘em all. Such a shame!”

Few months down the line, I realise that was not true after all.

***

A warm summer afternoon, and the husband walks in to say, “Wanna watch Captain America: Civil War today?”

I reply, “Cap is not that charming. He bores me. Okay, let’s watch.”

Few minutes into the movie, I realise there has been two prequels to this movie. There is something called Hydra, Winter Soldier, and a character named Bucky. To get the bigger picture, I need to watch ‘em.

“It’s just two movies. You can watch ‘em.” I console myself.

That feeling lasts only until two more new characters show up: Vision, and that weird red energy girl, whose name I can’t remember.

I ask my husband, “Who is he?”

“He is Vision, remember you saw him in Age of Ultron.”

I stammer, “I did? Okay, if you say so.”

Enter the red energy girl, and I continue my train of questions, “Who is she?”

“She is also in Age of Ultron. Do you even remember the movie?”

“No. I watched it a year or two back. How am I supposed to remember ‘em all? Great. Now I have to re-watch Age of Ultron.”

He adds “Also the first Avengers movie.”

Me: “What? Never mind.”

Says to self, “Let me pretend I remember Thor. Also, let me not even ask if it was Hell Boy’s face in the rolling credits. Can’t watch any more movies. The list is piling.”

***

That sentiment was finally sealed today, while watching Batman vs. Superman.

“Who is going to win?” I blurted, only to correct myself soon enough. “Alright, I get it. You don’t like such questions. Atleast tell me what’s happening, else I have to watch it from the start.”

He shrugs, “Okay, watch it from the start.”

“Argh. Men. You know what, I will watch it.”

Scene 1 begins, and I go, “What’s happening?”

He replies, “Remember this is the last fight scene in Man of Steel, it’s a continuation from that.”

“My god. You have to be kidding me!”

No. I am not going to watch Man of Steel again.

***

[Take home lesson:

For men: Have you ever have come across one romcom that has these myriad prequels/sequels? No. While all of these action movies that you men ‘oh-so-love’ cries a big ‘yes’. Ergo, men love complex, men seek complex.  So the next time universe is giving you complex, in a different package [read: women], lap it up like you always do, my dear men.

For women: You like simple. Next time the husband/boy friend dishes out a mono-syllable word, live with it. Maybe, it might be for the better.]

[Fact 3: Both of us, men and women, are not going to like the take home lesson. So here’s to more paradox in our preferences, and lesser and lesser superhero movies] 😀

Love,

A woman in the age of superhero movies

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4 thoughts on “Life in the time of superhero movies

  1. Hahaha…brilliantly written Sulakshana. There’s a similar story at my home too with ‘the wife’! This brought a smile to my face. Keem ’em coming. Cheers!!

    Like

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