24th of April every year will have an iconic significance in each Saiyan’s life. Few of us might celebrate the day, few others might reminisce, and few others might even be choked and teary eyed. However one may express his/her emotion, the day would be about Him.
I too have had range of emotions playing within me each year.
Do you know why I titled this post, “Nija Bhaktha Hrdaya Vihari: Sri Sai Natha Deva!”? It’s because, Bhagwan is truly in our hearts. It doesn’t matter if we are in California, Israel, Delhi, or even Puttaparthi. He is where He needs to be, in our hearts. He hasn’t gone anywhere. Even to this day, He communicates to each of us in His own way, we just need to be persistent in wanting it, and not be so hard on ourselves.
Here are 5 incidents that tell you why:
After Aradhana day session in the morning, I got myself seated, and asked Him, what should I do now.
I didn’t know what love I could write about. Then I realised, I needed no special story, or no special definition. Today was enough, and I could see His grandiose love in it. This post will be about just that – just this day, and His – Everyday love. Omnipresent love. Pure love. Unconditional love. Reflective love.
The above conversation is what I call His everyday love. Because He is available. Everywhere. Everyday. At all times.
What then from today?
When I was looking to add MahaSamadhi post from 2012, I didn’t find it. Looks like I didn’t write one. Unbelievable, right? I was stunned too, and thought hard. I mean, what could I have possibly done on that day, that kept me away from writing about Him. To be honest, memory isn’t my greatest tool, so I gave up. Maybe I didn’t think about Him after all.
His grand entrance:
Interestingly, not a second passed, and He helped me remember: I had taken the day off from work. It didn’t seem right to do anything that day that didn’t concern Him. I listened to Him, His stories, read about Him, talked to Him, and chanted my favourite Rudram. Wah! Our beautiful Master, would He ever let us feel bad about ourselves? Nah. 🙂
“I find that Thy will knows no end in me. And when old words die out on the tongue, new melodies break forth from the heart; and where the old tracks are lost, new country is revealed with its wonders.”
We are talking about omnipresence of the one who is eternal here. How hard is it going to be for Him to remind you what you did on this very day, 3 years ago? Well. Not hard at all. So omnipresent love for the day – check!
Morning session of Aradhana day, here in Prashanti Nilayam was full of festive fervour. Sai Kulwant Hall had vibrant festoons that thrilled and excited me. I like to see Him pampered like that. The hall looked beautiful, and rightfully so.
Earlier this day, I had my doubts. Was I to wear a festival saree, or an Aradhana day saree? It wouldn’t be right to overdress on a day like this, right? I told Swami, “Bhagwan, I have made my peace with your leaving the physical form. We might miss your form, but I truly cherish You, and my days with You. Today will be a celebration to me. Of my love. Of Your love. Of our love.”
So I had dressed myself colorfully, and thankfully, the spirit of the ashram was just like mine. I loved the beauty of the atmosphere. As I went towards Ganesh Mandir, I reflected on my parent-cum-guru relation with Bhagwan. Though few call Him as a best friend; somehow for me, He is more of a parent/guru.
So I told Brother Ganesh, “Tell my ‘hi’ to ‘appa’, will you?”
His grand entrance:
As if He had to acknowledge my thought, when Bajans began, the first one was: “Sai Pita aur Mata Sai”. I smiled at Him, shaking my head. There you go – Here He was being a reflective lover.
Before I went for darsan, I had my share of melodrama.
Like I had written in my FB wall the other day, I was looking forward to this day. I tend to forget the festivities that come and go in the Indian calendar, but His days, I always remember. So here I was, resonating with His love, thinking of my Master’s home-coming day.
When I had signs of getting sick, early this week, I was telling C that I don’t mind getting sick, unless it’s before the Samadhi day. I don’t want any sort of physical inconvenience sabotaging Samadhi day.
The dawn of this day gave me the chills.
Guess what – I was sick.
I asked Him, “Why would you do this Swami?” “This was exactly what I was fearing, and you NEED to do this TODAY, don’t you?”
I always like to give Him trick situations and probabilities, something like: if you want this to happen, then it should satisfy these conditions. What a nerve, right? I know. My bad. Today’s condition was: now that you have put me in a quandary, I would be able to go for darsan on time, if my maid doesn’t come. Condition is – if she comes, and I get late, it means you don’t want me to exert myself sitting hours at a stretch. But if she doesn’t come, and I get to go for darsan early, then I don’t want any discomfiture in the darsan hall. You have to cover it up.
His grand entrance:
I was right on time for the session. As I took in the beauty of the hall, rudra chants began. And we all know, how much I love it. It was then a grandiose musical session.
(Teaser video of their practice sessions in Sundaram, Swami’s abode at Chennai.)
Bajans, which was a bit later, were mind-blowing. I then got the coveted first in line Mahasamadhi blessing. It was always elusive to me. But not today. I loved that He did that for me. There was nothing to scorch me as I walked back. It was 11.50 hours IST when I finally came home, and I was as fresh as a chilled cucumber. 😀
I thanked Him for the session. Like that wasn’t enough: He further pampered me with His love delicacy, when C brought home Bhagwan’s prasad for lunch. It was a feast with chapati, rice, curries and sweets. Slurp.
Such is His unconditional love. You might give Him conditions, but He gives back His love unconditionally. Giving you all that you’ve ever wanted.
Creme-de-la-creme of situations and grand entrances:
The bajan sessions as I said were electric. Souflul Sai bajans were sung one after the other, and even as I had Him in my mind’s eye, swaying rhytmically to the beauty of the bhava, I saw Him sway and smile in the projector that was in front of me. If I thought of the yester years, where He stood at the end of the Primary School block, looking at us, as we ate, the projector showed Him again, doing the same. He did all I wanted Him to do, in my mind’s eye and in the projector. As He looked at me, and had a hypnotic smile, His presence was unmistakable. I ebbed and swayed in His pure love, as His smile came on to me. My master. My beloved.
The other day, I was watching a movie called ‘Hachiko’, where a dog waits everyday for his deceased master to return. Hachi, the dog, came to the railway station ever day, for more than 9 years, and waited in the same spot, from where he usually escorts his master back home.
Every damn day!
That love choked everything within me. Finding myself overthrown by such love, I thought, “Who in this world waits like this out of love?” My master immediately surfaced within me, and said, “I do.” The message took me to Brother Vinay’s Samarpan talk, where He speaks about Swami’s pure love. That’s it. More waterfall cascaded down.
By all means they try to hold me secure who love me in this world. But it is otherwise with thy love which is greater than theirs, and thou keepest me free. Lest I forget them they never venture to leave me alone. But day passes by after day and thou art not seen. If I call not thee in my prayers, if I keep not thee in my heart, thy love for me still waits for my love.
He waits, waits, ever waits. He comes, comes, ever comes. He listens, listens, ever listens to us. Now, to go over my conversation with Swami earlier:
Everyday love. Omnipresent love. Pure love. Unconditional love. Reflective love.
Truly, He is that one God, one person, one phenomenon, call what you may, who gives us love in all its shades.
Like me, you might think, you have nothing to write about, or talk about, but if you look closely, these 5 incidents could have happened to you too, just like it did to me. Love will choose any hue it likes, to express itself, but express it will. Today, I tasted these shades in a span of 5 hours this morning. So what hue did His love take in your life today? Tell me 🙂 I’d love to hear.
Until next, here is a song written and composed by C for Mr. God.
Be well folks ❤