Walking towards Mandir this morning, earlier than 9’0 clock, gave me a rush. It felt like those good old days, when darshan didn’t just mean 9’o clock mandir bajans. To be honest, I missed His form today too, but I didn’t miss Him like how I did this past Krishnashtami.
I could sense Him around, and that had me at peace. So I was up and about, thinking of my Guru in His yellow robe. There He was – darting across through the darshan lines, dancing to the Tyagaraja Keertis, sometimes in His robe, sometimes in His pitambaram. Wah! It felt splendourous.
I then had it.
A group of monkeys on almost either side had formed a guard of honour, when C and I left for darshan earlier in the day. As someone who freaks out for anything remotely wild, I told C, ‘put a beach ball‘, but I went one step ahead and put a cylinder as well. That’s how I usually like to ensure am double protected. The human me! Bah.
Anyway, He reminded me of this as I was seated in Kulwant Hall, and I realised ‘darn it’. Instead of being happy that Ram’s beloved entourage, and dearest Hanuman has paraded through our street, and formed a guard of honour, like how the college kids do for Swami during Sports day, I had my aura all covered up. I so needed to grow up spiritually, I thought to myself, and went on with the darshan.
Bajans – check. Aarathi – check. Mahasamadi blessings – check.
Mandir alone was left. I went inside, smiled at darling Krishna at the back, and prostrated to the maharaj in front. Nothing can beat an empty mind, because as I prostrated it was blank. I had nothing to say, or ask of Him. So He decided to speak instead, and out came two words: “Agnanam Brahma”.
I was stunned. ‘Agnanam Brahama? What the hell does that mean?’, I asked Him.
It then came to me: monkeys!
They say: be a Karma yogi, do your karma but ensure there is karma phala tyaga. Be a gnana yogi, find Him with your inner wisdom. Be a Bhakthi yogi, find Him in the bhava that resonates within you. What they don’t say is: you are a yogi whichever way, you are a God whichever way. Yes, there is the grander realisation awaiting somewhere down the line, but the lapses in between, the human you, the ignorant you is Brahma too. Love it. Embrace it.
“You are so cool” I told and smiled to myself, knowing He is smiling too.
I should have written about Ramayana today, and my list should have said ‘check’ next to ‘Write a post on Ramayana’. Looks like that can wait until tomorrow. For now, He wants to enjoy our lapses, and see the divinity in the lapses. Well, that’s going to be easy. Bring it on 😀
Till next love tale,
Ahoyyyyy, be well and ramanavami wishes from Parthi 🙂