His b'day gift :)

Yay! Yay! Yay! He came! He saw! He blessed! He conquered!!! ūüėÄ

23.30 hours, 3rd night.

Just before retiring to sleep, I knelt down by my bedside and said, “Bhagwan, I am turning 24 tomorrow. Just as I am excited, I am freaked out too. There are always better pastures and new lands to discover. Life’s challenges can’t bog one¬†down when you are at our side, but still I would love it if you would be benevolent¬†enough to bless your girl with Thy darshan. I need that Madhava. I really do.”

I followed it up with my favourite bajan:

This has been a practice for few years now, but He didn’t come.

What a disappointment. My response,”What Swami? What the hell¬†are you thinking? You are supposed to come, you are not supposed to ditch. Maya is a¬†serpent that raises its fiery hood, hisses real bad, and hardly¬†misses, but ‘sansar¬†thumhare¬†hatho¬†main’ ūüôā It’s my day. If you won’t wish, who will? I love you. Please come sweety pie.”

23.30 hours, 4th night.

“Am gonna sleep, planning to come?”

sai

The smile on your face…

He did ūüôā

It was brahma-muhurtham.

My friend Gore and I were sitting for darshan in Hill view (gallery side). We were waiting for Him, lost in blissful thoughts, when that lovely lilting music hinted us of His arrival. Our valiant lord was on His way, clad charismatically in His ochre robe.

“Wah! the red chair, with¬†hints of grey here¬†and there was blessed to have His sparshan.” I had thought to myself.

Seated¬†in the 2nd line, I was wildly excited as He inched closer to us. The proximity of the enchanting¬†form does give one goose-bumps. The exuberant/supreme glow from Him was a¬†relief, as the form of my guru, during His 85th birthday felt otherwise…

Here He was. My Sai. My super hero. As He neared me, my heart let out loud whispers, “SWAMI. SWAMI. SWAMI…”

The brat that He was, He looked everywhere but at the crowd. “As usual. Typical you Swami”, I had thought. [Sorry Swami! Just kidding :P]

As¬†I continued my ‘SWAMI MANTRA’, He got wheeled away¬†two seats ahead of me.Within seconds,¬†the master decided to turn. He looked at me, even as¬†the in-form brother pushed His chair. He came back by two seats… ¬†With a smile playing on His lips, He raised one hand followed by another to bless His girl…

To see Him in the mode of abhayahastha thrilled me, and I was engulfed in His blessing.

The smile of my soul outshone any other light, or so I felt.

“Oh!¬†What to say of Thy compassion,¬†Madhava? Love you. Love you. Love you. Love…” I continued¬†my ‘love you’ chants, with hands folded reverentially and¬†seated on my¬†knees.

I was sure that my soul crossed stratosphere and all other possible spheres. I was at cloud nine. Nah. Definitely more than that too!

The guru then moved¬†ahead by two seats, as my love chant continued. But it was not to be over. He came back again,¬†looked at me mischievously and said, “Now, you love me hanh?”

The twist:

I had mixed emotions when I heard that statement. Bit of ‘Awww’ & ‘Ahhh’…¬†This is why ūüėģ

I had fought with Bhagwan¬†big time during His 85th b’day, which was¬†a little over week before mine. I hadn’t spared His mother Eashwaramma either.

I had told, “What in the¬†world is your son doing? It’s 12’0¬†clock in¬†the noon. The sun is scorching. Roasting¬†me in and out. Ask Him to go.” The programs that day were heavily delayed, and I couldn’t bear the heat, or my hunger.

It was¬†the 23rd of November, and my words were, “I hate you¬†for whatever you are¬†doing. If you don’t want your birthday to be my death day, please go. It is annoyingly hot. None of us¬†understand half of these languages, and the speakers are going on and on.” I had¬†wanted to leave. While two of my friends Gore and PM¬†were ready to leave with me, my friend Deepa wanted to leave only after He left. We couldn’t leave her, and so finally after almost 9 hours at the stadium, we left. And I had gotten sick.

My guru was sweet though. He looked at us that day, both while coming and going. He blessed us, and all that.

I did tell Him, “You better look. You ought to for all that you have done.”

[If I don’t¬†fight with Him who will. I am His girl after-all :P]

Now that I confessed, let’s move on and absorb what just transpired.

Here was my guru, in my dream. Choosing the same place I sat in Puttaparthi for His birthday Рi.e. 10 days back on 23rd November. Mischievously poking upon a statement that no one knew, but for my own mind. Proving to me His omniscient love. Not only that, but also showering His blessings, because I wanted Him to come and wish me on my birthday.

Truly, there is just way too many levels in one’s¬†relationship with Sai. [Humbled.]

Coming back to the dream: 

His not so rhetoric question was, “Now you love me hanh?”

With a wry smile, and¬†an¬†‘Eeks-Oh-my-God!’ expression, I¬†replied within, “Yes Swami. Of course I love you. I love you. I love you. I love…” As I continued my whispers, He went¬†ahead by two seats only to¬†come back and smile at me…

I don’t really remember what happened after that, but Man!¬†That was one hell (heaven) of a dream. Wow… What kind of love must that be! And what to say of the¬†pampering ‚̧

***

Usually, my sleep would vanish after I get His dream, because it’s time to jump around the house. Today was no different. The “I love you – i¬†love you – i¬†love you” chants continued, and I¬†jumped around the house at 04:45 in the morning.

That was something usual, so mom didn’t say anything. I hugged, kissed, and thanked Him a million times, because it was that special.

Thank you my love, my lord and my guru. ‚̧

PS. Happy birthday SB ūüėÄ

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